Rehearsals

This is the first big production i have acted in throughout my whole degree, therefore i am not used to the rehearsal process as an actor. Because of this i am finding rehearsals extremily hard, partly to do with the fact that we are outside and also because i find it hard to listen sometimes when there is so much else going on. I often find myself looking at a bee when i'm supposed to be listening, then i feel lost and a little confused. Generally i'm finding rehearsals good fun and i feel the structure of the rehearsals the last few times has worked much better for me than before as i feel i know what I'm doing when i get up to do it. Maybe I've just taken a long time to get back into it, but hopefully I'm doing OK. I often wonder whether what I'm doing is right and whether i can improvise at certain points when the work is being devised but i always feel like i will say something wrong and i will get told off. I think this fear shows a definite lack of confidence and this is something that i will need to build up myself as i cannot rely on others to do it... I feel i am doing better and better though as the rehearsals go on, and my best work is usually produced when i relax and have fun with the part.